Honest Habit 5: Knowing Your Refined Self – Over and Over Again

Change is inevitable. That is the how the saying goes and it is one of the most irrefutable facts. We often do not like it as it requires many growing pains. Oh yes, growing pains – they are necessary and unnerving as there is always a challenge to accept.

If you have driven down the path of self exploring recently (hopefully you have kept up with the last several blogs of this series), I hope you have taken into account how far you have come from all those issues you have had in the past. Those experiences are priceless. They helped reveal your next self; your best self. The version of you that you know you can’t hide no matter how hard you tried. See, the way things are do not have to be the way things are. If you know yourself extremely well, you know you can conjure up some of the most brilliant ideas known to man. But here is the kicker – DOING something about it.

We have crossed a variety of topics of honest habits – processes of keeping yourself in check and learning how to identify and extract those things that hinder us. Perfection is not the goal, the knowledge of mastering yourself is. How would you even know what you’re capable of if no attempts have been made? All there is to life is “doing”.

I think Yoda still says it best: “Do or do not. There is no ‘try’.”

Put your best foot forward each and everyday. You owe it to yourself to see how far you can go and maximizing the time you have. Your personal growth, wholly and totally, depends on you. We have personal stumbling blocks & some areas we have guarded off yet know the truth in each of us: we are over-comers. We breath into a new life it seems, just because we have taken a new perspective on things we haven’t done before. Our best asset is our self as long as we keep doing and keeping our “business” on track.

“Loving yourself” also has a different meaning when you’re looking to the next “best self” you can be. You’re next level could be a short series of decisions away. Understandably, we have seasons – dark ones with valleys of low light then BOOOM! Sunshine and smooth sailing for another. It is the way life brings you out of your comfort zone and to offer you a new lease on life.

We owe it to ourselves to see a new era of things that can be positively impacted by our choice to honestly change our habits. Do things that reawaken your zest for life and doing something about those stumbling blocks. Your self mastery is not only knowing your values and issues but now applying solutions to transition you to a new season of “you”. You can develop a simple action plan or if you’re a “wing-it” type of person, just pick one good thing to do a day. Small goals and small steps are better than none (and picking your nose.)

From my own categories of life changing events, one area that completely changed me was when I had decided to move out of my parents house when I barely turned 18 years old. I felt strongly about my independence. I felt confident in surviving on my own and felt I had a solid plan in place – work, go to school, graduate, go to law school, graduate, open my own (immigration) firm and help those who couldn’t help themselves; (I didn’t forget family, I planned on getting married around 25/26-ish, then having one started when I was 27 or so, when I had a better footing, financially.) I accomplished 4 of these things, except all out of order. LOL.

There is a biblical story of Moses that after the slaves were freed from Egypt, crossed the Red Sea and were on their way to the Promised Land, the journey took them 40 years. So many things happened: people started getting distracted because they were impatient with getting to where they were going. They lost sight of the end goal. They traversed back and forth through the desert and lost so much time dwelling around doing dumb stuff. Moses never made it.  (The irony: he had seen the Promised Land 2x. But can you imagine what the biblical story would be like if he did make it and there were no distractions? Random thought, here.)

Me, just like Moses, there was a point to our journey and it seemed so perfectly laid out. Moses’ plan was more blessed than mine, of course, as he was literally chosen by God. Me – just a lil ol’ child of God. And while we battled our own issues, there was that period of being so lost even though we understood there was a plan for us. Things get screwy when you get distracted. Distractions are the supreme goal killers and it comes in all forms. (You know which one is yours – it tells you everyday.) Whatever that may be for you – even if things go haywire, you can always make the best of it.

In my “perfectly” laid plans, it actually went like this: moved out, partied, had my first born child at 20yrs old, struggled through college, graduated, and worked, while out of my parents’ home. My then boyfriend, (now husband), and I struggled to do everything to keep us afloat. That’s what happened. A struggle series. But all the while, these issues motivated me to keep putting my best foot forward and I revealed to myself how strong I could be in the face of adversity. It was an emotional rollercoaster and drama-filled yet as I climbed out of that abyss, I felt a different spirit move within me. One that said, all things can be done when you believe it can be.

Everyday, thereinafter, there was always something I was improving. I knew I can be better and I did become better. Am I perfect today? No, of course not and do note that’s not my goal. But I am better than who I was.  I even came to the realization that some things I use to personally value became outdated. Today, several of mine main values I mentioned before are: honesty, money, karma & time. But these did not come so easily to the surface. They were revealed in experiences when life unveiled how truly harsh it could be to a naïve 18 year old girl. Trust me, I’m a life-long learner, devoted to being a student of life at every turn so I think it is all important when it comes to both negative and positive experiences. Let the world’s judgement slide off of you, it will never walk a day in your shoes.

Inevitably, when you overcome one stumbling block, I truly believe you can overcome as many as your spirit moves you to overcome, or, what you believe you can achieve. It is in the way you see things. Over and over, you will reinvent yourself. Over and Over, you will peel back those layers that no longer serve you at the core. Over and over and over again, until you are refined to be as amazing as you can be. As you evolve, you’ll know yourself even better. It is key to your every success.

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’tyoure right,” – Henry Ford

Always put your best foot forward. XOXO, Friends!


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